what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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