i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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