We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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