I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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