in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
