Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize