WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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