whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
