i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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