eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
