I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
