Whod you bang
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
