Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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