I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
