I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
