she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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