it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
