So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
