He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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