im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
