I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
