We're facebook friends in real life
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
