Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
