peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
