sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I smell stomach acid.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
