I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
