i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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