he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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