I feel like abortions should bother me more
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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