I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
