piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
