Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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