Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
