Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
