I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i think my mom watched the whole time
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
When are your genitals available?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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