Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
