I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
