i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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