CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
