your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
