Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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