I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize