Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
