Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
