he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
