Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
