I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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