yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
