I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
try to milk me bitch
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