make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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