i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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