i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
