I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
