hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
