I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
