I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
