jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
