Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
