i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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