Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
