Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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