What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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