Your dad touched me again.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
